The first vogon poem from our Towel Day 2025 competition. The judges comment was “the best part was how, after having read it, I never had to read it again”.
Ode To The Lump I call My Brain
There is no forecasting the future
Alpha beta gamma delta are keep gonna coming at ya
Omigod Omicron this thing will never end
To live with it you gotta make your routines bend
Meanwhile earth keeps on getting hotter
Worldwide supply of peace getting shorter
Like the fuse on the bombs of angry mobs
Drowning out people’s distraught sobs
Violence is creating lots of jobs
Just not the ones for which peaceful humanity lobs
Vested interests sucking up people in their nets
Hedging millions to make billions in bets
What’s human life worth when they got jets
On their money backed empire the sun never sets
Here I am creating poetry out of neat & clean words
Dropping cracking pop culture & flipping some birds
The time to rhyme has never been better than now
My hunger to rise higher is gonna make you go wow
There is no reason for me to want to escape
The life of a superhero is spent in a cape
I am the Harry Potter getting Peeved at Severus Snape
Oh yeah my rhymes are heavy that’s why you will feel the need – the need to rewind this tape
Fantasy and fiction combine well to guide my wandering mind
Film and movies are a mine of info when I find the world unkind
Far-thinking TV with high concept breaks me out of the working grind
Gaming is an awesomax escape that ironically puts my eyes in a bind
Masks – just the prep for the impending apocalypse
Keep your nose where it belongs and seal up your lips
Get used to the new normal before we cash in our chips
Let’s get to neo normal in which we will cruise in spaceships
A generation crippled by computers
Workforce nation trampled by commuters